News and Tribune

Columns

May 28, 2013

BEAM: Oh, the sweet life

There’s nothing more satisfying than a swig of Coke.

Wait. That’s a lie. Drinking a whole 32 ounces of the magical elixir definitely trumps a measly swig any day of the week.

And that perfect cup of caramel-colored goodness must be from McDonald’s. I’m not sure why their Coke always tastes better than anywhere else. Maybe they have a special formula that contains ground-up clown smiles.

But every day I thank the good Lord that I don’t live in New York City and would have to endure their attempted ban on my happiness.

Yes, you might say I am a cola connoisseur. Others might say addict. Either way, I love Coke. And I mean the real Coke — not that sweet Pepsi or Royal Crown stuff. Of course, down in these parts, we call everything Coke. Big Red and Sprite are coke. Dr. Pepper is coke. Orange pop still gets called, you guessed it, Coke.

A guy named Matthew Campbell from the Department of Cartography and Geography at East Central University actually designed a map of what survey respondents generically called their carbonated beverages. Clark and Floyd counties lie on the northern line of a fully red south that named these sugary drinks Coke. Not only do our accents show we belong to the south, I reckon now the words we use do, too.

Recently, soda has been subject to some controversy. Warnings abound about its negative affect on health. My generation, on the other hand, was raised in a different age. Back then, most parents would let their kids drink anything: carbonated beverages, creek water, milk past the expiration date.

Little children in Europe who have been suckling fine wine before they could teeter or totter looked jealously on as we drank our sugary lunches, their eyes full of decaffeinated awe. Later the babes would try our tasty treats but in a different form — hot and iceless. Warm water is more satisfying than a room-temperature soda. And so they continued drinking Perrier rather than Pepsi.

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Columns
LOCAL MAGAZINES
Easter 2014 photos


Click on any photo to purchase it.

SPECIAL CONTENT
Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
AP Video
Raw: Kangaroo Rescued From Swimming Pool Raw: 3 American Doctors Killed in Afghanistan Raw: Obama Arrives at State Dinner in Tokyo Raw: Obama Plays Soccer With Japanese Robot Raw: Obama Visits Meiji Shrine in Tokyo Stars Talk Guns N' Roses at Golden Gods New Pictures of Ship That Sank in 1888 Oregon Gay Marriage Ban Goes to Court SKorea Ferry Toll Hits 156, Search Gets Tougher Video Shows Possible Syrian Gas Attack Admirers Flock to Dole During Kansas Homecoming FBI Joining Probe of Suburban NY 'Swatting' Call U.S. Paratroopers in Poland, Amid Ukraine Crisis US Reviews Clemency for Certain Inmates Michigan Man Sees Thanks to 'bionic Eye'
2013 Photos of the year


Take a look at our most memorable photos from 2013.