By LINDON DODD
“Never try to teach a pig to sing. It wastes your time and annoys the pig” — Proverb
I am going through a bit of post election withdrawal so I thought this week I would clean out the mental cobwebs and offer up an edition of some scattered thoughts from a cluttered mind.
A basketball coach has a tawdry affair in a public restaurant and is rewarded with a 10-year contract and millions of dollars. The man who has protected our country by developing strategies to fight wars and knows more about terrorism than anybody else alive has an affair and we throw him out to pasture. It’s all about perspective.
I saw a clip this past week from a cable news show listing the probable candidates for president of the United States in 2016. I now fully understand why some people support the death penalty.
Winter blows for the first cold spell or two.
Did you ever notice that when anyone prefaces a statement by saying I am not a racist or prejudiced that there is an absolute guarantee that something racist or prejudiced is about to come out of their mouth.
I didn’t stop to think when I had a son at 40 years of age that he and I would both be seniors this year.
The biggest loser on election night was Rush Limbaugh.
Opinions are like onions with a couple of extra letters thrown in.
I try to like everybody but not everybody makes it easy.
I want the title of my autobiography to be, “I writ that!”
I often wonder why I can never come up with the perfect marketing scam, say something like bottled water.
Can you bottle air?
I saw this week where a painting depicting a red rectangle on top of a blue rectangle sold for $75 million dollars. I am not an art expert but I think they got screwed!
If ifs and buts were candy and nuts Christmas would suck.
If you voted the right way would that make you politically correct?
One of the best things about Paris was that nobody wore their pants sagging.
This is the first generation that won’t do better than my grandkids.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if we could all collectively just stop and think?
No matter what they say I can’t just curl up in a comfortable chair by the fireplace and read a computer screen.
Everything keeps going up except working class salaries.
Isn’t the root word of Twitter — twit?
It’s wonderful when one political entity/office holder sues another political entity/office holder and the taxpayers pay all of the legal bills.
My favorite vacation trip is always the one I am planning to take.
What does it say about you when you lose 23 pounds and yet can still wear the same clothes?
I turned 57 last month and I still don’t always feel like a grown-up. When my dad was 57 he sure seemed a lot older and wiser than I feel.
I wonder if any of our founding fathers would have been able to achieve greatness if they had 24 hour news channels and computer blogs in Colonial America.
I find most people can like either the popular vote or the Electoral College depending upon whether their chosen candidate wins.
I was officially 6 for 9 in my election predictions column that published exclusively last week at newsandtribune.com. That was a much better win percentage than that of political architect Karl Rove, the weasel Dick Morris or the obnoxiously biased Sean Hannity.
So, I am trying to wrap my head around this political theory; did God intend for a pregnancy to occur only in the case of legitimate rape?
Sometimes I think it’s just me!
I spent a wonderful evening at the Charlestown football game in an impromptu gathering with some friends who had probably not been seen together since my Jeffersonville High School days. That was perhaps the strangest game I have personally ever witnessed in all of my life in sports.
Gee, what is that in the air — I think I smell a parade! See you next week.
— Lindon Dodd is a freelance writer who can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org