News and Tribune


December 8, 2012

DODD: Annual holiday parade rolls by


Moore — “Sounds like the Moron Tabernacle Choir (chuckle, chuckle)! And they got a new superintendent to run things his way. What is his name?”

Lindon — “It’s Dr. Andrew Melin. He claims it was solely him who decided to transfer Jim Sexton from Jeffersonville High School.

Moore — “I know. I hope after a couple of years dealing with our school board they aren’t calling him Dr. Marshmelin, (laughter)!”

Lindon — “That was witty, sir. You really toasted him on that one. I hope you have “Smore” of those one-liners. The Super Majority certainly have exercised their voting power in the last year. Speaking of power, how’s that mayor thing going for you?”

Moore — “It’s like magic. I want something done and I just do it. Hey, I like that. From now on you can call me Magic Mike!”

Lindon — “Mayor, I’m not sure that’s an appropriate nickname, what with the Matthew McConaughey movie and all, er, uh, never mind. Coming into view is a float that looks like a large pair of pants. I can make out the letters, it’s the Deep Pockets Float and it’s co-sponsored by local attorneys Steve Voelker and Larry Wilder. I guess those guys have made a few dollars in the last couple of years with lawsuits against local municipalities. I don’t suspect any, cough, uhhh, demonstration in front of a certain attorney’s office might have come with repercussions.”

Moore — “As mayor, you learn that lawsuits are just part of the business as usual.”

Lindon — “Funny, but I don’t recall any demonstrations outside of Steve Voelker’s office this past year? By the way, what’s that book you brought with you?”

Moore — “I’m glad you asked. You know we have started a new no-kill policy at the J.B. Ogle Animal Shelter and this is a book we have published to raise funds which explains the problem with overpopulation of unwanted cats and dogs and the need for spaying and neutering.”

Lindon — What’s it called?”

Moore — “I came up with the title, “Fifty Shades of Stray!”

Lindon — “That’s very clever and topical, sir. Coming just into view we have a decorated entry resembling an ‘Alice In  Wonderland’ theme. It’s the Clark County Tea Party float. And I think I recognize the Mad Hatter. That’s the newly elected county council person, Republican (cough, cough) and Tea Party president Kelly Khuri.”

Moore — “I think I would consider joining the Tea Party under the right conditions.”

Lindon — “I can see where any member of the Democratic Party would agree to that being a possibility for the next election season. I see moving past us is a pretty plain entry. It looks like just am empty, undecorated flatbed trailer being pulled by a truck. I’ve just been handed a note that this was supposed to be the Exit 0 — Salute to the Homeless float. It seems that their decorating materials came up missing right during the Christmas season. Some people never seem to get a break.

“Well, it’s the moment the children have been waiting for as the Santa float is quickly approaching. Those rosy cheeks, that little round body and those eyes — yes, it is, its former Mayor Tom Galligan sitting in the sleigh. And who is that bearded oversized elf beside him? I would have never thought it possible but that’s Mike Hutt throwing candy canes from Santa Galligan to the crowd. They say politics makes strange bedfellows. I wonder if that means we haven’t seen the last of old Tommy G.

“Uh, Mayor, what’s with the skin-tight Spanx pants?”

Moore — “Sorry, Lindon, but I have to rush off to my afternoon Zumba class.”

Lindon — “Oh, well, this is Lindon Dodd along with your mayor, er, ah, ‘Magic Mike’ Moore wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday season. Mayor, can you turn down the volume, hey, wait a minute, I recognize that song. Mayor Moore has the whole crowd dancing along with him to that You Tube hit sensation, ‘Gagnum Style!’”

Moore — (overheard to supporters in the crowd)  — “OK, everybody, hands together and feet moving!”

Lindon — “(breathlessly) That’s (panting) all there is from Court Avenue for the 2012 Christmas Parade crew. Here’s from my household to yours wishing everyone a Merry Christmas and the happiest of New Years!”

— Lindon Dodd is a freelance writer who can be reached at

Text Only | Photo Reprints
Easter 2014 photos

Click on any photo to purchase it.

Twitter Updates
Follow us on twitter
Hyperlocal Search
Premier Guide
Find a business

Walking Fingers
Maps, Menus, Store hours, Coupons, and more...
Premier Guide
AP Video
Florida Panther Rebound Upsets Ranchers Small Plane Crash in San Diego Parking Lot Busy Franco's Not Afraid of Overexposure Fighting Blocks Access to Ukraine Crash Site Dangerous Bacteria Kills One in Florida Workers Dig for Survivors After India Landslide Texas Scientists Study Ebola Virus Smartphone Powered Paper Plane Debuts at Airshow Southern Accent Reduction Class Cancelled in TN Raw: Deadly Landslide Hits Indian Village Obama Chides House GOP for Pursuing Lawsuit New Bill Aims to Curb Sexual Assault on Campus Russia Counts Cost of New US, EU Sanctions 3Doodler Bring 3-D Printing to Your Hand Six PA Cops Indicted for Robbing Drug Dealers Britain Testing Driverless Cars on Roadways
2013 Photos of the year

Take a look at our most memorable photos from 2013.