CUMMINS: How to skip 2014 - News and Tribune: Columns

CUMMINS: How to skip 2014

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Posted: Monday, December 30, 2013 6:15 am

The reason we live by a calendar is that somebody thought we should organize time into segments such as days, weeks and years. There is no need to consider the present, because it passes you by in an instant. The calendar is based on the sun as the earth moves around it, tilting and spinning, which causes us to wobble, or something does. It was either God or Julius Caesar who designed our calendar which doesn’t equal out. For an unknown reason, there is an extra day every four years, which I use to work on my income tax or reflect on life in general. It’s known as a “leap” year. Some years, I’d just as soon leaped right over, and look down at the mess from the space shuttle.  

Take 2013. You can have it. It was a year that didn’t make much sense. We didn’t get along any better than we did back during that first year in the Garden of Eden. 2013 was a year like living in the Garden of Crabgrass. Mankind has been fighting crabgrass, cockroaches and each other since the initial search for the land of milk and honey. As the search goes on, the closest thing to milk and honey we’ve ever found is the drive-through at the Golden Arches.

When reflecting on your time allotment, live fully in the present, but also plan for 2014. I predict it will be a year of tech breakthroughs to help eradicate man’s suffering. If you recall during the darkest days of the Obama administration, you tried logging on to health care. You couldn’t do it, because of human flaws, especially in the field of software where man has not yet perfected algorisms. He has also not perfected software to guard against hacking into the innermost realm of his privacy contained in his personal iThing, which has become attached to his soul. What’s next, your texts published in the Wall Street Journal.

Do not cringe when you read my 2014 prediction. It will change your life. Yes, if you’re like me, you may want to withdraw from society and live a hermit life within the confines of your home. I want to limit social contacts and cyber-interaction with other human beings including so-called Facebook friends, some whose eyes I’ve never gazed into.

Here goes; I predict you can live a full life, without ever leaving your home in 2014. Think solitude, the elimination of hustle-bustle and peace that passes understanding. If you need to work, do it on the Internet. I know people who work at good jobs dressed in their underwear. And you can shop for everything you need, delivered at your doorstep. But be careful when you go out your door. You may get hit in the head by an Amazon mini-drone.

 Jeff Bezo, genius head of Amazon, is perfecting a miniature drone that will deliver French bread, Chinese food or whatever to your door. Our president has been using drones to take out potential terrorists and innocent children collaterally. Peace will come when no one leaves their home.

Second prediction; burn your green backs. The future is “bitcoins,” which is virtual money transacted on the web. I have no earthly idea what a bitcoin is. Look it up on the Internet when you get the time. Again, your life will not be your own, but a virtual one. The government is getting all flustered again, because they don’t know how to tax bitcoins. Don’t you see that if taxes decrease, then the government can’t spend more on things like food for the one in five U.S. children living in poverty, or on hit-and-miss killer drones.

If BigGov has less money to spend, it can do one of two things, borrow 10 trillion bitcoins, or reduce its size. If the American people united and said, “We will pay only half our taxes until you shape up,” what could BigGov do? Or, if voters and non-voters would unite to pass a “term- limits” amendment, it would solve untold problems.

2014 will be a survival year. We’ll either solve some things, or we won’t. What if we relied on technology to solve political problems that would solve most of our own? Feed mega-bits of data into the Amazon computer, not the one churning out health care, and let it spit out the facts. Unless BigGov acts on the dire facts, live 2014 as normally as you can, inside your home for safety’s sake.

— Contact Terry Cummins at





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