Published: October 26, 2009 10:52 am      

DODD: Spreading the words of 2009

Miriam-Webster has added some new words/phrases for 2009 to include the following;

Carbon footprint; the negative impact something has on the environment.

Frenemy; word used to describe one who pretends to be a friend but is actually an enemy.

Vlog; a word for a blog that contains video material.

As is my custom I will try to come up with my own new words for consideration next year and their meanings. Remember, as always, if we use any of these words often enough they could become part of the English language in the next year or two! I also have included sentences showing the proper usage of the proposed new words.

Polifiction — The usually totally unbelievable explanation given by a politician caught with his/her pants down or exposed in a wrongdoing. (South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford pontificated with a bit of polifiction when he was quoted as explaining his absence by stating, “I was hiking down the old the Appalachian Trail!”).

Palintology — A word for the study of Sarah Palin’s now dead political career and the actions that lead to its gradual and painful to watch demise. (The mainstream media Palintologists are now examining her record as Governor of Alaska).

Sarahndupity — A word that tries to explain the feeling that no matter how hard you try you just find yourself caring about what Sarah Palin does. Is it idle curiosity, her sexuality; that natural human instinct to watch a train wreck? (The unexplainable appeal of ex-Governor Palin for average Americans can only be explained by Sarahndupity.)

Stimuloss — Amount of the federal government’s stimulus dollars that appear to have just been thrown away with nothing to show for the dollars spent. (Billions of stimulus dollars are unaccounted for and in Washington resulting in quite a bit of stimuloss for the taxpayers.)

Michaelogical — Defines a philosophy of trying to rationalize Michael Jackson’s death was someone else’s fault and not being of his own making. (Authorities and the media are engaged in purely Michaelogical pursuits for a scapegoat in the death of Michael Jackson).

Deja’ Lieu —A word to describe the unmistakable feeling that you’ve been someplace other than here before. (I found myself experiencing Deja’ Lieu while at Kings Island when Holiday World came to mind.)

Scritch- This word describes what takes place when you are alone and have an itch that is just out of reach where you keep scratching but can’t hit the spot. (I had a terrible itch between my shoulder blades and even though I scritched and scritched, I just couldn’t get to it to stop.)

Waveno —This word describes what happens when you vigorously wave at someone in public and they don’t see you so you self-consciously pull back and act like you never waved at all. (I was so embarrassed when I wavenoed at you in the Mall last Saturday.)

Retality — A word for the action those of us take to fight back against the onslaught of reality television programming when we refuse to watch any of them. (I retalitied against Survivor 18 this season.)

Femanime — A word that describes what happens to a macho guy and his drastic personality change after the first six months of being married. (There’s nothing wrong with showing my femanine side by picking up things my wife needs to comfort her during that time of the month.)

Petafeel — This is a word used to describe people who treat, act, and think of their pets in human like ways. (I felt like such a petafeel when I cried after my little cat FuFu left for her weeklong stay at the animal spa in Phoenix).

Palitics — This is a term to acknowledge people who are hired for political jobs expressively for supporting a successful candidate in an election regardless of any actual qualifications for the position. (The Mayor denied palitics was involved in appointing his best friend as budget director overseeing his wife the city comptroller.)

Gnomenclature — A new politically correct term used to describe the appearance of the muscular development of vertically challenged people. (Boy when that little guy flexed his muscles he had perfect gnomenclature).

Meneature — A word to express how a man in a bar feels after hitting on a young lady and she aptly rejects his unsuccessful approach. (Did you see how that cocky drunk slinked away in meneature form after she threw that drink in his face?)

Profunity — A word for people who while engaged in extemporaneous speaking throw in curse words for humorous effect. (His use of profunity while telling the story of his vacation trip had everyone at the office rolling on the floor).

Just remember to use these words in conversation so they will someday become part of the language of our land. That’s all it takes to make any word acceptable, regardless of how dumb it sounds. Or as my old 8th grade English teacher Rachael Fresh at Middle Road School used to say when someone used improper grammar such as the word “ain’t!” “Hain’t and tain’t and his’n and her’n!” She would be very disappointed that she could find it as an entry in the Merriam-Webster word listings today. If only I could go back in time with today’s dictionary- I’ll bet she would have to give me an A- and ain’t that a shame?

Lindon Dodd is an Otisco resident who is a freelance writer and can be reached at lindon.dodd@hotmail.com