News and Tribune


January 31, 2013

MAY: A love of another kind

In America, we love lots. Pizza. Sunshine. Presents. The new television series. A scary movie.  Walks in the park. Well-written literature. Decadent desserts. Afternoons at Wrigley Field. Time with the family. Moments alone. 

There really is no end to the things we love.

We fall hopelessly, madly in love with someone, and life is completely turned around. Movies are produced to display it, novels are written about it. Songs are composed about it, melodically proclaiming love from palaces to pads to iPods. 

We stand and cheer when Sam Baldwin and Annie Reed finally meet at the top of the Empire State Building in “Sleepless in Seattle.” Our insides turn and our eyes get a little weepy over Jack and Rose in “Titanic.” And what young lady can resist the twinkling eyes or hairy back of a werewolf in the twilight of an evening?

We love french fries and the way we feel when we’re on vacation. We love our children and we love our job. Love, love, love, love. With apologies to John Lennon, it surely seems that all we need is love.

Joseph Burgo, a professional counselor with more than 30 years of experience, explains that for many, love really becomes just an obsession. On his blog,, Burgo writes that people often want to devour the object of their love. 

“For them, to be in love means to take possession of somebody or something else and swallow them whole. It is a very primitive type of love,” he writes.

But just as we can become obsessed with someone or something, we can just as easily tire of it. Falling out of love is the common thread that most people ready to separate attempt to weave. 

The mundane repetitions or the over-bearing boss cause us to be unsatisfied at work. We tire of food at the same restaurant. ’Til death do us part is about as meaningful as a bald man with a comb. Circumstances change feelings. Feelings find new affections. Affections blossom into affairs. Affairs divide properties and assign visitation.

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