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February 19, 2013

CUMMINS: Does your family need re-organizing?

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I’m not making this up, families are adopting the corporate model. Corporations would crumble without effective and efficient organization. They’re initiating a new organizational structure known as “agile development.” It’s a system of group dynamics in which workers are organized into small teams. They hold progress sessions and frequent reviews. With open communication and responsibilities clarified, productivity increases, resulting in teamwork and happy worker-campers. 

If your family adopts the corporate model, the members form teams with specific responsibilities and titles. For example, the father could become the chief financial officer and bedtime manager. The mother is the chief home executive officer and transportation director. She transports the children to dentists and soccer practices, while the father brings in some bacon. See the ensuing harmony. The mother drives everywhere, wearing herself out, while the father happily assumes the monumental task of herding his kids, like cattle, to bed. I’ve done that. It’s not pretty.

Children and the family dog assume responsibilities, too. Johnny is the director of wireless electronic things and the trash removal specialist, while Mary leads the clean dish brigade. If she feels slighted, then she can express herself at the next Johnson family caucus. Doberman, the pincher, is the chief security officer. Family specialists say the agile development thing works. 

I have some serious reservations about disassembling the tried and true. May give it a try or maybe not. God didn’t tell Moses to re-organize his tribes, but when looking over into the promise land, he died on the spot anyway. I tried the co-CEO arrangement one time, but the kids always sided with the mother. What if the family board of directors ousted me? 

Corporations have their troubles, too. You think a corporate CEO making $23 million wants to hear what the workers on the line have to say? One problem with the current corporate model is that weekly team meetings haven’t eliminated rat racing to the dog-eat-dog fights.

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