News and Tribune

March 10, 2014

CUMMINS: What does the opposite sex want?

Local columnist

— It’s obvious that men and women are opposites, but after centuries of quandary, it would seem that men would know what women want. Look at the animal kingdom such as penguins and bees. Do you see male penguins or worker bees perplexed about what their mates want? Granted, the queen bee is an oddity, but maybe worker bees like working men will do most anything to please their queen and never ask why. If a man asks a woman why, the usual response is, you wouldn’t understand. Men don’t understand much of anything except understanding the futility of asking why.

There has been much discussion, argument, and research about the disparity between what the two sexes want, especially from the female vantage point. Men have difficulty ascertaining what women want as it seems to vary according to weather changes. Men know what they want in any weather — clubs, bats, balls, tools, a cook and a couch.

Men are aware that women want a new dress, so she drags him out to try them on. Some of my worst moments were in lady’s apparel and in the earring wing. He says go get what you want, I’m tired and feeling bad. You’re not feeling bad. Yes, I am. No, you’re not. You don’t have feelings. I have deep ones. Tell me. OK, I love you. If you loved me, you would go with me to the dress shop. Love goes much deeper than that. How deep? This is where men get tongue tied.

God wasn’t perfect. He botched it, combining male and female on earth to multiply. There should be a better way. Procreation is like a magic act, joining two opposite sexes together to bring a child into the world, but look at all the complications before and after. The mother carried the child until its birth while the father carried many heavier loads. Then the mother continued loading the father. What do you want now? I want you to give Junior whatever he wants. The first thing I do when waking up, ask, “What?”

We have to live with this system, going through life trying to satisfy everyone’s wants, not needs. You sit there as she goes through the racks. Do I look good in red? Yes. No, I don’t. How does it fit my hips? Fine. You’re just saying that. Think I look better in blue, don’t you? Why don’t you just go through the rainbow? Can you see your wife in a golf shop watching you test putters?

For centuries, men hunted and gathered while women cleaned, cooked and nursed. Then with the automobile and malls, roles began to change. Now everything has changed. It’s an age of I want — this and that, bigger and better, more of it, the latest. Will we ever get enough? Not anytime soon.

 Look at the photos of the early car. The man in goggles drove the car as his wife dressed in finery rode in the back seat. She did not tell him how to drive until later, the second time they went out. She accepted her role as subservient to her husband, who risked his all bouncing around on life’s rocky roads. Then she learned to drive — to the store in a second car. Then he had to get a second job and she got one, too, and a checking account.  

The husband considered a third job, but he didn’t have the time. He had cooking and cleaning to do and taking the kids to Little League and dance, as she rose up in the world. I want to run for office and go to Washington, she said. He said no, Jefferson didn’t plan it that way. Watch me, she said.

Science, which explains most everything, is now delving into the differences between the female and male brain.  Studies found that circuitry in men’s and women’s brains are wired differently. The circuits in a man’s brain are primarily contained in each hemisphere, whereas women wires spread to both hemispheres, sort of all over the place. This has implications for different perceptions of reality. The reality is I want happiness. I’m certain she does, too, but am I to guess at what it is or could she be more specific? Don’t take this wrong.

What I’m saying is that the male-female conversation is a guessing game due to a mix-up in the wiring. Or, could it be that mind-overload contributes to man’s malfunctioning?   

 — Contact Terry Cummins at