Terry Cummins

Terry Cummins

Our president will soon face another challenge—filling the George W Bush Memorial Library with documents.

Nearly a billion Bush II documents are scattered around Washington, but the concern is that about two-thirds of them are top secret. You can’t run a country without executive privilege, and the executive determines what his privileges are. The president does not want the world meddling with his thinking. When Nixon thought taping everything would be fun, look what happened. Does our president want terrorists knowing he’s tapping their phones? No.

Does he want Democrats deciphering his mind? No. Does he want the public knowing the mileage on his bicycle? No. What goes on in the White House stays in the White House.

But this presents a problem when these secret records are eventually made public in Crawford, Texas, which needs a library. It will take years for scholars to sort it all out. In addition to the necessity of shredding so many papers before the move, the president realizes he has not written many personal letters, as did Ronald Reagan. Reagan’s writings were recently published and reveal the human side of the great communicator.

Reagan was W’s hero of sorts. There’s talk of adding Reagan’s profile to Mt. Rushmore. George W is envious, because, if any president knows how to carve anything in stone, he’s the man. Take Iraq. Nobody wants it, but Gen. Petreaus will report in September on the success of the surge. The White House will “help” the general write the report. Generals aren’t writers, they’re fighters. “Come in General, sit down and tell me how successful we’ve been. I’m a writer and a decider.”

In a brief moment of self-retrospection, the president realized he needed to reveal his human side. Compassionate conservatism hadn’t worked like he’d planned. Not re-building New Orleans saved money for Iraq, which is where our compassion is centered. He needed to probe his inner most thoughts, put them on paper like Reagan did and reveal his humanity while providing filler for his library.

He took pen in hand and thought, whom, or is it who, do I write? He thought about Jenna, his daughter, who, or whom, was getting married and off the streets. No, he would write Dick and communicate something important about the nation’s interest.

“Dear Dick, Thanks again for helping me keep everything carved in stone. But they’re really on our case now since the bridge in Minnesota fell, and they’re crying for more taxes to finance more government concrete. Bridges are blown up everyday in Iraq, but do we build them all back? Halliburton can’t do everything. But Dick, read my lips (and this letter), no new taxes as long as I’m the decider.

You know, Dick, Lincoln was the emancipator, Reagan the communicator, and I may go down in history as Bush II the decider. My daddy, Bush I, couldn’t decide to follow through on Saddam, and when he backed off, Saddam tried to kill him. I want to make Bush I proud of Bush II, therefore 9/11 gave me a chance to get Saddam. Once we got him, I decided we’d stay there for a while and democratize those people, thinking perhaps history would record me as Bush II, the Democracy Guy. But I don’t think it will happen, because those people over there are nuts.

Dick, do me a favor. I need a break and am heading for the ranch. Need some time to write people. Want you to hunker down in the basement bunker and keep your finger on developments, but not your trigger finger. Remember, I’m the decider. Don’t want hearing you’ve bombed and liberated Iran. Had to fire Rumsfeld, and Karl needs time with his family. That leaves just me and you to protect America from evil killers. Why, why, Dick, have our poll numbers tanked, although yours are worse than mine. Why, why do the American people want to go with a woman? You think I’d let Laura run so I could stay in power? If we get Bill Clinton back in the White House as First Man, kiss (pun) everything we’ve worked for will go down a liberal sewage drain. He is soft hearted on everything including morals. Me and you are rigid and solid as rocks upon which to build foundations.

One other thing, Dick. Can you see my human side in this document?

Sincerely, Mr. President

Terry Cummins believes it will all be sorted out someday. Write to TLCTLC@AOL.com

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