“Sometimes the questions are complicated, and the answers are simple.”

Dr. Seuss

Have you ever thought that you might just be a gender neutral, woke, and politically correct Dr. Seuss-hating Potato Head?

Well, me neither.

And what I’ve learned this past week about the Royal Family makes me want to burn my Buckingham Palace photos from a family friendly trip to England.

Not really.

I am foremost a news junkie. I love the news. I love to be informed. I have enough curiosity to kill a clowder of cats. Look it up!

Some woke animal lover will read and misinterpret that metaphorical last sentence and accuse me of literary animal cruelty.

I don’t ask for much sympathy, empathy or pity from my readers. I stand by my words and even upon rare occasion have had to eat them a couple times. I guess I like my disclaimers like a real man likes his steak rare. I like my steak medium well.

I sometimes wish I were a real man.

If you want to traverse a literary land mine someday, write anything that is to be published, broadcast, posted on social media, or just stand on the street corner with a megaphone and freely speak your mind.

I bet you won’t last long without some fervent criticism about how your beliefs and thoughts are outdated, hurtful, racist, un-woke, Zionist, anti-Semitic, unsympathetic and/or politically incorrect.

And if you really want to become a social piranha — try writing humor or performing stand-up comedy. As a collective society we don’t laugh much anymore. Many people don’t have the ability to laugh at themselves and the really woke crowd can’t laugh at anything.

The funny thing is that most people I know and associate with every day are a lot like me. In private we still laugh and make fun of each other and of many things in the world today. You just can’t take for granted that anything is universally funny any longer.

I love to make stupid jokes. I laugh many times each day, with either humor aimed at me or if it comes in self-deprecating form can make me laugh harder.

We live in a world where apparently a vegetable can be affixed a sexual gender in someone’s twisted way of thinking. Although I do not wholly reject my son’s hypothesis that the whole Potato Head thing was just marketing genius by the Hasbro public relations group. I mean who could take a gender-neutral potato thing seriously?

Did anybody check out social media the last two weeks? What in the holy name of Dr. Seuss was going on there?

It seems that every single individual political cause, social cause, gender identity group, or ethnic group is just standing in the wings with a group of torchbearers that make Frankenstein’s pursuers look like the cast of characters from The Cat in the Hat!

And the end is nowhere in sight for us rational, regular folk who kind of live laissez-faire, devil-may-care, do what you want, and whatever floats your boat kind of life.

We laugh at many things. We find humor in the ironies of life. We laugh at ourselves and occasionally in good fun at others.

What we don’t do is get up every single day and try to find anything posted on the World Wide Web that we can find the least bit offensive and then make a big stink about it.

I know racism, sexism, homophobia, Zionism and discrimination against non-binary persons exists. I try to be sensitive. I have had friends in my life from every group above and more.

I try and treat every person I meet with the same acceptance. I don’t judge. I don’t always understand. I will continue to try to learn. It can’t be force-fed to me so knowing the kind of person I am, I know you will not force-feed it to the masses. We all know what that old saying about what the masses are! Be patient and kind to me and I will give the same back.

Perhaps my favorite Dr. Seuss quote is more applicable today than it was then: “Adults are just obsolete children and the hell with them.”

I prefer my potato head skillet-fried while I am digesting my green eggs and ham — literally and figuratively speaking!

Lindon Dodd is a freelance writer who can be reached at lindon.dodd@hotmail.com.

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